#143
OK. went to school today to meet up with the MOF people and some lecturer from another part of the school.
needa do something really tight in schedule and wats worst? need to do mp by next week.
gonna be busy. but i guess thats the best for me? to stay bz.
looking at the above pic, its for a NEWSPAPER ARTICLE!! yay. go green = allows me to promote myself alittle more to the world out there.
get ready folks. WEDNESDAY zao bao newspaper. [stay tuned]
btw my hair like just sleep wake up. well, its better than kc's fart face.
LOL.
oh ya. i tried kc's ear ring. KAO he say i look nice in it. time to buy magnets cuz i dun wan to pierce =(
ok. shall end here.
#142
hmmmmmmmmtoday im feeling lighter today after doing some stuff this morning.
talked to kc about my attitude toward life last night cuz i couldnt really sleep.
he said i was low morale and negative. im trying to get up and clear myself.
went school for user test. hmm was kinda easy money. 1hr 15 bucks. i stayed for 2 hrs.
then... went to collect my cert and met up with mr woo.
to our surprise........... MR VJ fetched us in. gg.
ok so.. me and kc walked in feeling alittle wierd. cuz 2 big shots were inside.. and we had to sit on sofas instead of the small chairs.
shared and talked.. and BOOM. my mp project just changed like tat with an inclusive of a new member.
and so.. my grp will be doing a project for MOF.
to me i feel glad about it. im glad im approached.
teachers are calling me and kc "THE GENERALS" haha.. so funny.
ok lah. END HERE.
nth much alrdy. =X
#141
BEEN .. a .. duno how to describe day.urm. met peggy and grp of friends for pizza hut..
entire talk was funny and.. filling..
i doubt no one is hungry.
thanks peggy. hope u like the shawl. =)
roamed around the entire shopping area.
landed at the arcade (shit i by right dun like the place alot)
ok played some games. well we 5 were good. owned the game.. getting Straight As!!
haa.. ok that part was funn. wanted to watch movie but no nice show to watch.
then randomly walked... ended up at mac for a little icecream.
from there we parted lor..
kc go met his fren
shellen go AMK
YH walk home
then me and wq take bus home lorrrrr.
tiring journey.. tiring outing. so tired until i went home to sleep.
slept like 3 hours. ?
woke up = in alittle bad mood. always night time i badmood :(
#140
ALRIGHT.when out to the beach today to spend some time alone.
was kinda a nice feeling to be away from my own life.
the feeling was like as thou.. im out of the world. somewhere with no one at all.
reached home. and soon after.. storming already. phew i made a fast move.
close to night time, i was bad mood again. so i went out again for a short walk.
i also realized i haven been eating well.
by right - i didn even eat any "real" food for the past few days.
felt like i was torturing myself to go hunger. first time ever where i can not grumble about hungry - perhaps no mood for food.
luckily kc agreed to come makan with me. he drove all way here.
tts a true bud. treated him to drinks - like duh.
talked abit and watch bowling abit before heading back home.
his ride - thou ROUGH and TOUGH. was kinda stresful (at points of time, still need to plan with me on how to turn and get out of my house carpark)
im safe home in one piece. phew.
tmr gotta wake up early to meet wq, shellen, kc and ms peggy.
clarence: start eating and sleeping properly please =(
#139
**EDITED**She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up,
Till I close my eyes.
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know.
And though she's so far away,
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Chorus:
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
(Repeat Chorus except last line)
Bridge:
'Coz heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Coz wide awake or dreamin',
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave,
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so?
(Repeat Chorus)
Heaven knows... heaven knows.
__________________________________________________________________________________
the whole of last night was insane........
i got the..
Transient insomnia
Meaning:
It can be caused by another disorder, by changes in the sleep environment, by the timing of sleep, severe depression, or by stress. Its consequences - sleepiness and impaired psychomotor performance - are similar to those of sleep deprivation.
ok. GG? so sucks.
i rmbed clearly i went off to bed at 2.45am. i loooked at my hp and .. its 4:38am and im still awake. pathetic shit. i really cant get to sleep even thou i know i shld sleep and im tired.
planned to visit sentosa today. but.. the sky wasnt as sunny.. so i decided not to go even thou i woke up early. [10.00am]
didn eat anything till lunch.. which was hmm.. 3plus. ate slices of sandwich 5 nia i think.
then.. until now didn eat. KAO. and worst of all.. i wasnt starving.
imagine a day without food? and i dun feel hungry at all.
something is really wrong with me.
#138
**EDITED**ok. im feeling better. [gladly]
but im sure similar bad mood will come by more often and soon.
mouth that does not belongs to you does not belong to you.
legs that does not belongs to you does not belong to you.
the mind that does not belongs to you does not belong to you.
yes. what did i just said?
i asked my mum this morning when i woke up.
"can i just die?"
at first she said yes.
then i repeatedly ask her again- like a more serious tone.
and she looked and me and said:
"study so hard u want to die off like that?"
i said: "ya."
life is too boring.
even eating can just make me sigh. im really tired.
i can sigh over a wonderful meal for more than 5 times.
so upset about everything.
it scares me so much when it comes to night time.
i just dun like night. neither do i like day.
__________________________________________________________________________________
just woke up.
felt like the night was long and draggy.
didn really sleep.
im trying to look for a song that can really express how i really feel right now.
=(
#138
**EDITED**ok hmmm i cant go to bed.
getting sleepless nights lately. =(
and i get sadder each day.
WHYYY. i dunno.
i will try to go to sleep.
doubt will work.
but im so. SAD.
no mood for almost anything.
no game.
no food.
no sleep.
no mood.
i guess i will be sadder as day pass.. tell me HOW TO BRIGHTEN MY DAY
how do i start to learn how to smile?
=((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
saddest day for the whole of 3 months.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
not sure how many people will do it. but.
spend sometime reading thru the lyrics and (press PLAY) to listen to this song
sry if ur time is wasted.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
#136
YAY.finallly submitted my SIP report. poor teachers have to read thru a whole bunch of stuff.
anyway. tmr is meeting my boss day.. tgt with my 2 other frens. and then.. we are most prb off to Astons. gonna test the western.
won kc like 2-3 times in dota.. getting sick of it. (lol kidding)
tink almost win like all games today. wow.
ok now my mind is dammmmmmmmmmmm blank.
throat is about to recover.. but i still got a bad cough.
=(
end.
#135
**EDITED*urm went to tamp after briefing with kc.
walked around cuz we both dun feel like going home.
we were nice kids. nice enuff for family.
smth happened. me and kc both stunned. so disagreed to wat he did (BOO PAL) =(
took 3 home.
WA. i talked alot in the bus.. throat pain still talk so harshly
ok.
tts abt it.
____________________________________________________________________________________
ANGER.
yes tts wat i am feeling right now.
start to wonder why do i always stupidly put others infront of myself..
to only regret when its too late.
when people gets to enjoy the fame and glory while me.. get nth.
not even friendship.
each time i tot i get over with things.
these people will come and tell u more things abt it
that just makes me feel bad.
sucks and i have learnt from this entire process
ONE FOR ONE SELF.
i dun wish to be nice to anyone anymore.
even if i have no friends
i dun care.
dun bother me
dun ask me anything!
#134
ok quick update.morning wasnt great.. dammm make use of ppl.. lazy elaborate..
something really bad caught up in the afternnoon..
headache now and i think i got a throat infection.. cuz..
i start to feel hot.. backache.. cough...flu = SICK in short
omg. i have everything now =( suffering
ok tats all.
end.
#133
OK.teaching/helping the secondary students in IMOVIE was kinda... fun?
i hope me and kc dun get too lousy feedback. haha
missed out the PEGGY session sia. cuz... i was supposed to sms her the timing for lunch.
i msged shellen,wq,kc but nt her.
SO... she throw aeroplane at us.
roamed around school.. talk talk luff luff
BUT.
my damm throat now soar like chicken. painnn.
right now.. i dun feel like allowing anything to enter my mouth.. first the ulcer pain... then the soar throat pain.
can die.
urm ok la.. back part i dammm lazy to say liao.
anyway wana out just let me knw.. can go with u
#132
WOW.been so tired.
and soon getting a soar throat.
hmm.. went out to discuss some stuffs.. and got home around evening.
its pouring.. and i did not bring an umbrella. got soaked wet
bought new printer ink.
printed out the documents to be used for tmr's teaching lesson!!
panic lah... imagine my demo does not work in front of students..
imagine i duno how to use IMOVIE.
god..
hope everything goes well fine tmr pleaseeeeeee.
#131
OK ...... the place i planned to go today
end up locking myself at home for 2 main reasons:
1. SO TIRED TO GO OUT
2. SKY LOOKINGS LIKE GOING TO RAIN
SO.......... postponedddddd sad.
nvm.. i'll go there next week
damm no appitite today...
cuz of my ulcer
faster heal.... wats the best way to kill that ulcer? if knw please share with me
ok.
shall end with a set of lyrics!
__________________________________________________________________________________
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
[CHORUS]
I love you
I've loved you all along
I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of Hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything, but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
[CHORUS]
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
And you'd never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
So far away
So far away
Far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me,and never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me, never let me go
#130
WA KAO.my damm mouth got ULCER. so damm pain
today is my last day of sip
recieved my cheque..
yay.. its over.. and I ENDURED IT :)
hmm went to meet up with some of my frens to have Astons(plan A)
due to a LONG queue + U-Turn, we went to billy bombers..
lol.. okkkkkkkk quite fillling..
wasnt able to enjoy the food due to that damm ulcer.. REALLY REALLY PAIN.
head oso pain.
alright at tis moment cnt think of anything..
was very looking forward to tmr actually.. but now.. no... POSTPONED.
sian.
oh ya i bought my WATCH AT LAST haha.
#129
HMM.went to imeem and ripped off mass media into my playlist.
doubt a single sole alive will take the time to listen to my playlist thou. hahaa
well.. its for me to hear.. so don tell me to remove it.
after all my blog is just a place i wanna place my life into.. even if theres no readers.. haa.. i wun mind
OK
GUESSS WHAT?
TMR IS MY LAST DAY!!
happy? yes.
sad? yes.
anyway.. i think i sprained my back today at work..
my whole left body is a little numb and aching..
INTERNAL pain. ouch. can hardly walk properly.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm was so craved for new york new york today.
asked kc out he say tommorow.. SO TMR LORRRR.
getting some other stuffs too.. hehe...
cant wait for tommorroww lah!
#128
AS U CAN SEE/HEAR.watever.
haa i added a playlist to make my blog more noisy.
hmm.. these songs are some songs i like..
THEY ARE OLD, but.. meaningful!
peggy talked to me today..
keep it short: web design competition for a car company
sigh. missed that and gave tt up due to MP.
ok lahh..
FOR TODAY..
bought chicken pies for my company people.. kao they all quite touched.
haha boss treating this coming FRIDAY. before we leave.. before he flys overseas.
he said.. we shall order 20 different dishes (for 6 people)
see how.. hahaaa
okkkk cant wait to END.
anddddddddd
waiting for friday.. why?
cuz i need to dammmitly get a new watchhhhhhhhh
rawr!
#127
OK! itss alll finnallly going to an end!! YAY.hmmm kinda relieve i SURVIVED everything im facing..
its isnt as fun as i wished it could.. HOWEVER..
bought this card for my boss... DID U BUY URS FOR UR BOSSES???
ok lah...
today was talkin to MS ROSLIND!
haha so funny.. our chat always end up with her thinking i like her daughter -.-
hmm.. going back to school on monday to help her teach sec 4 students IMOVIE.
man! i have forggoton most for it.. need to recall..
hope i dun screw on monday:)
oh ya.. this wz damm random. but damm funny. nice one "MOO".
and kc im damm sorry. no advertising in my blog. wat more A GAY FACE.
PUKE
3 more days.
#126
was this close to just blog a vulgar word and leave the rest unsaid.HOWEVER,
rick came today.. well.. after he went back..
we talked abit in msn.. trying to find out how my SIP has been.. whether the boss thinks im ok =X
rick: "ha ha ha ha ha, how u think u did? you have not changed 3 years ago since i known you."
clar: "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, could have been better"
rick: "hmmmmmmmmmm, ha ha ha ha ha"
clar: "is it that bad?"
rick: "ha ha ha ha ha.. woo~"
thats wat he said omg.. =(
also.. suddenly we came to toking abt me ... he said i was:
-keeping wanting ASSURANCE and CERTAINITITY
hmmmmmmmm i think so
-im a very nice person
LMAO
-all i need is to sort my internal emotions.
huh...
---
ok la.. enuff of that.
im off.. bad mood.
#125
OH!last 5 days counting down....
hope all of u had a great time at ur sip workplace.
hmmmm...
rick is coming tommorowwwwwwww
gg.
good luck me.
nights all!
#124
HMMM.been a long time since i blogged.
hmmm was talking to MS PEGGY these few days in msn.
hahaa.. sumtimes she can be very nice to tok to.
we were talking about lots of stuff.. sumtimes she talks to me like a mummy. aaha.
Maybe meeting her next week once my SIP is over.
anyone wannnaaa come alonggg with me? i dun wan eat alone with her..
dammm paiseh.
oh ya.. recently.. i found many old songs... damm nice to me.. my type of song.
wanted to play the guitar version of their song... hmm but im lazy..
so lazy to do things now..
lucky everything is all about to end..if not.. i dun think i will do as well as i am right now..
my mum burnt her wrist! omg...the experience she tell me = GG.
she was ironing... and the wire cable just *SPARKED*. KAO. and she got burnt!
she rubbed off the black skin/substance.. AND....
she found a HUGE blister... dammm pain looking.. *yucks* didn realise until today..
hope her wrist nth wrong.. if nt need bring her go see doctor
TMR is my younger's brother birthday.. i asked if they wanna go out eat.. i treat.
lol.. but.. no reply.. so guess its called off =X
anyway happy bday to him la.
#123
haahaa..today has been rather......ok..?
was stuck at my damm booking system..
boss and woobs finally communicated and disccussed about my MP.
hmm.. cnt wait for MP.
i told my boss. my 2 other mates have similar working style with me..
he said "wow.. then i guess u guys can finish the project within 3 weeks!"
HAHA. so not possible.
anyway.. the brackets for the project has FINALLY ARRIVED! We attempted to mount the projector way up high on the ceiling..
i tell u.. im freaking scared sia... kao..
climb tt tall ladder.... trying to mount it up.. ITS NOT EASY AT ALL.
at the end.. all of us came down.. hahaa.. manny funny moments up there lah..
our lunch chat with boss is totally funny... he said he is going to open a childcare center... using a newly built APARTMENT.
kao.. damm cool please. i dun mind working for him sia. bet my pay will be good. ahaa.
OH. brought over the printer from my brother's room to my room.. yes i can finally print things using my lappy.
printed my "death notes"(army medical letters) and booked the date for us to checkup.
packed my entire room abit.. shifting boxes of "notes" from poly.. books.. cd racks.. kao.. damm dusty...
gues wat? i almost got my eye hurt sia.. box too heavy.. I CMI LA!.
getting new printer cartridge soon...
oohh.. i found this specs which i kept in my cubboard long ago.
does tis guy look like me ?
O.O
#122
haaaa... hmmm decided to blog early..haven have my dinner.. really hungry..
craved for maggie mee.. just so lazy to cook right now..
well.. bought food home for mum n bro again..
i bought extra... durian puffs.. WA KAO.
damm nice.. (although i know durian puffs is disgusting to some)
ahaa.
count down count down to end of sipp...
on a sad note..
REGISTERING FOR NS..
bye people. lol.. so fastt..
this saturday i might be off... "to a secret place" alone..ahaa..
wanna spend some time for myself man. =X
still tinking if i shld go.
k thats about all.
oh ya.. tks kc for help in my system. haa.
#121
hmm..been an ok day for me...
went to work alone.. knowing the fact that i haven been punctual for sip =X gg.
went to work and saw my boss .. SO EARLY. within secs he came out to talk to me about asking me stay for MP.
showed me some projects and returned back to teachers to ask if i can do..
cant wait for my mp grp to work with me there.. guess they will enjoy it..=X
hmm.. on my way home. i bought a WATCH for my mum.. she so happy sia.
was damm looking one for myself.. but i canot find..
bugis street soon please..
bought insanely ALOT of food home... + bubble tea for mum and bro..
my stomach seriously HUGE. can see the buldge... imagine sia.. i so skinny can still see round round. =X
ok lahhh... tts about it for today!
hope both my boss and teachers and also my grp approve our MP at POGO!
#120
hmmm wat did i do the whole of today?? omg.. nothing sia..tried to start work.. but didn noe how..
never play guitar also.. sian....
2 weeks SIP faster end. stop dragging...
tts all..
rmb have lots of thing to say one..
but then right now blank.. haaa.
today = most empty day.
#119
been a fruitful day for me today..was woken up by a call from JUSTIN. burden. wake me up sia.
woke up.. skipped breakfast and had a few winnning games of dota with justin.. sense kc is the prb why we lose.. haaa..
had a good lunch and.. watched a very nice/loving dog movie... hmmm.. but watched halfway.. i lied on the chair + bed.. and sleep.. like 2-3 tiles aways from my laptop table.. lol...
i slept throughout the ending part sia.. haha..
then.. prepared to go out with my bro + auntie and uncle.
went to CONVERSE SALE! seriously.. if i had more time and money. i will buy ALOT of things.. knowing tt my uncle is paying for us.. i dammm paiseh to pick the one i like most.. =X
after rounds of choosing..trying..
finally. i picked a pair of shoes.. and my bro picked 2! omg.. 75 bucks for 3 is quite worth it.
my uncle is realllllllly nice lah. better than my dad. i swear man if i can..i will look after them + my own family if i can afford to!
dinnner was KOREAN style.. hmm not really my type of tea.. but i attempted to try new things.. still.. hard to accept.haha..
went home after that.. on our way.. brought my bro to e-hub.. wanting to let him try yougurt thing... however.. SHOPCLOSED.
sian.. so just boughted bubble-tea for mum and myself from "cup walker" and headed home.
first time talked more to my bro.. and he finding out wat im doing in my poly.. still he prefers sports school.. haha..
ok.. im tired now... rest time. =)
thanks for such a great day!
#118
lets keep things short.1. YESTERDAY(thursday) was seriously mad.
lots of question marks for sip.. and i had no one to help me.. asking the walls.. begging around just to get my things done. =X
+ random and meaningless questions from him just kills me even more.
almost wanted to just pack up my stuff and go off just like that.
2. Today im feeling much better?
but actually normal till night.. abit sian.
ANYWAY..
going to converse to look for new pairs of shoes.. hope i can find something i want. meeting up my auntie at evening..
man. just 2 more weeks to go.. 10 days.
to end it off for today.. i will like to say...
nth is more important to you than your family..
right now. i'll still do my best in studies.. but if i have to make a choice.. i wil give up my studies and take care of my family.